Believing in Myself – 10 Things I am Really Good at; Another Challenge

smileI have been challenged by another reader to come up with 10 things I am good at, and then to take them to heart and believe in myself.  I have been staring at a blank screen for more than 20 minutes; it feels like being at a job interview, or as if I am writing a cover letter.

I do not want to come up with a list of sterile facts like “I’m good at the computer” or “I’m a loyal friend”…

My penmanship is horrible; I cannot read my own writing.

I am a terrible driver; once, my boyfriend at the time was driving behind me said, “You look like a drunk-driver from behind, what were you doing up there?”

I am reading several books and do not seem to have the ability to concentrate to finish any of them; even though I read East of Eden in three days.

I am a picky eater, I cannot stand for my food to touch on the plate, often requiring more than one plate for my meals; I even sometimes put ketchup on fish.

I am a horrible dancer, I have no rhythm.

Likewise, I am a horrible singer.

So, being good at something is entirely different from things that are good about me; I think I am stalling.

***

ONE

I am a good cook; I won a gourmet pizza contest once when I created a buffalo wing style pizza with blue cheese and buffalo wing sauce.  I think I was a quarterly finalist; I won a cappuccino maker and 104 pizza crusts.

TWO

I am a good homemaker; I can cook, clean, sew, and am more than happy to do the laundry, dishes and housework.  I have never been one to expect my other to come home and help if I am not working but they are.  However, if I need to work outside the home, I am fine with that as well; I can still come home and take care of the house.

THREE

While I have many shortcomings, I am willing to continually work on them to improve.  I can recognize what is wrong, and if not, am willing to listen to others; I progress and evolve through the years trying to become my better self.

FOUR

I am an excellent student.  I have always enjoyed learning; while I love school and the academic environment, I am a student of life and appreciate gaining knowledge through various means, reading, social connections, travel, or anywhere I can gain a little nugget of wisdom.

(This is getting to be quite a challenge…)

FIVE

I have an excellent memory; members of my family actually tease and make fun of me when we are together reminiscing about things.  The big joke is about how I will remember the event, but in particular how I will always remember what I was wearing on the day it happened.  Apparently some idiot savant quality.

SIX

My capacity to forgive is infinite; I have had more than one person comment about how angry they would be over this or that.  Yet, I truly do not hold grudges or feel anger about things that have happened in my past.  I feel hurt and sadness and I have deep scars as a result; but, mostly, I blame myself for things that have happened to me and I do not direct anything I feel onto anybody else.  I am not certain if that is forgiveness exactly, because I never actually blamed them in the first place…

SEVEN

I am intelligent; I feel cocky writing this on here, but I am.  Sometimes I make errors in my grammar and writing style, so you may not get the exact picture of my intelligence, but it is true.  There was a time I had wonderful potential to do many things; however, life happens.  I will just leave it there.

EIGHT

I suppose I am good at making others feel comfortable; I will give two examples.  When others tell me stories, and they tell the same story they have told me before, I have never said, “Oh, you mean the story of XYZ that you just told me the other day.”  When you say those words to somebody, it hurts, they feel as if you have burst their bubble to a degree, or you are impatient listening to them.  It just happened to me the other day; who among us has not repeated a story?

Apparently, I am a good listener and people feel as if they can say anything to me; when I worked, co-workers would talk to me about everything, their troubles at work, at home, and about their personal lives.  But, the best example I can think of is one evening I was out to dinner alone and then stopped off at the country club for a drink.  A man approached me and started talking to me; he sat at my table and we started to chat, when I asked him what he did for a living, he responded, “I sell pornography and sex toys.”

We continued talking for a while, and then he said, “I have never told anybody that; I usually just say I sell computer supplies, but you are so easy to talk to. I have no idea what it is about you.”  Later, I told my boyfriend about the experience and he reflected what many others have said about me, everybody seems to want to spill their secrets around me.  I would never tell another soul anything they say, it is safe with me, and I would never judge.

(Oh my gosh! Two more to go… You try it… not so easy.)

NINE

Each day, I feel like I am good at writing.  I know the difference between your and you’re, their, there, and they’re, our and are, and it’s and its.  It seems as if I can evoke responses by what I write and sometimes inspire people to think.

TEN

I do not procrastinate, and I finish the things I begin; such as this list.

12 thoughts on “Believing in Myself – 10 Things I am Really Good at; Another Challenge

  1. I 100% agree with what you have written, you are very brave, and its not easy (i went through the same process years ago) with a counsellor who was also a teacher. It proved very effective in the long run. I hope when you continue to write you remeber writing the good times and influences in life – believe in yourself and thankyou.

    ‘Dreams are illustrations – from the book your soul is writing about.’ (Marsha Norman) 🙂

  2. It is our culture to be self effacing and humble, not saying anything good about ourselves. And yet there is the attitude to be brash and say, “If I don’t toot my own horn then no one else will!” The messages and pressures of who and what and how we are to be are contradictory and confusing. Still it seems the norm to be critical of yourself.

    I too cannot read my own writing. I can learn to dance formally but I naturally make those odd movements that help one create music rather than react to it.

    I would ask you to focus on number six. It is so interesting how you state you have the infinite capacity to forgive and then you question this because you do not blame anyone to begin with. Like all the things you list that is so very beautiful. The focus I ask of you is to consider yourself as someone else and then forgive her. In my mind she does not deserve blame to begin with.

    For the rest I can be brief and sum it all up:

    • Thank you, Sir. As always, you have a way of summing things up so nicely.

      I do often wonder about the theory of forgiveness; if I do not blame, then I am truly not forgiving. To forgive, i must blame… It is a quandary. I honestly believe I do not blame, therefore, I must not forgive. It is a never-ending circle for me.

      I appreciate you visiting today.

      Always,
      Me

  3. I did a similar exercise in group therapy. It was both revealing and humbling- all a part of getting to know ourselves and evolving. I love your story about the sex toys salesman. I know how hard this was for you to write and I applaud you for taking on the challenge.

    • Thank you. It was much more difficult than I had imagined; as hard as thinking of the three good things I did as a mother.

      It’s funny, because everyone in my family believes me to be talkative narcissist; the problem is, they don’t know me at all…

      Always,
      Me

  4. Kudo’s to you for stting down and writing this, a tremendous job you did. your inner strength has shined through in a whole new light. It is hard to look in the mirror and see the good, but it is there.

    Number 3, we all have short commings, but you show great character in that you are willing to see them openly and work to improve them. Many people see their own but are not willing to do anything about them.

    In its entirety the whole list is a wonderful testament to the person you are.

  5. I loved this!!! I am proud of you! You are a wonderful writer. It is soooo funny, if you reallyread all of your qualities… I would say… you should be a Therapist! Or a darn good wife or the BEST kind of friend!

    • Thank you…

      So funny you should say that; my degree is actually in Human Services Management. However, I could never work in the field; I would eat, sleep, and live all of the problems of anybody that came to see me.

      I could not believe how challenging the exercise was, though… crazy how hard it is to be kind to ourselves.

      Always,
      Me

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