The End of the Rainbow

Rainbow, Asturias, Spain

The pot of gold always out of reach

There is no sand on a warm beach;

Just a demonized leprechaun protecting the pot.

 ***

Brightly colored rainbows streak across the sky

Fading into black as the evil leprechaun screams for all dreams to die;

The gold always out of reach.

***

Fairies dance around begging for the dreams to survive

Just a chance for something to thrive;

The wicked leprechaun casts his spell denying life.

***

The gold continues to grow in the pot

Unimaginable wealth of dreams that cannot be bought;

The vindictive leprechaun protecting the gold.

10 thoughts on “The End of the Rainbow

  1. Every time you post a poem like this I want to edit it slightly for flow, for musical phrasing.

    Such a wonderful image you paint, the metaphor is perfect and never breaks character. OK the sand not on the beach breaks out of the image but you never come out and say what this is about in plain text, outside the metaphor. THIS IS SO VERY HARD TO DO AND IT SEEMS EFFORTLESS TO YOU!!!!

    You have a rare gift. A precious gift. Sadly all gifts are better received if they are wrapped up in a pretty package. You are so very close to true art, but the bow is a bit crooked.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love this. You also have an uncanny way of matching just the right picture to the words. I am so pleased.

    • Sir, thank you as always for your critique.

      I am certain if I poured over the art for long periods of time, that I could get the bow on just right… However, I awoke and simply wrote this out in 15 minutes; just jotted down whatever came to mind, then posted and went on with my life. I never re-read or edit. I just type out the words that come to mind. If it were painstaking, I think I may give up. Since Friday, I have not eaten, have slept very little, and have had… well, a very troubling chaotic mind. My writing suffers, or at least comes out in a melee of sorts.

      You always seem to be able to tell.

      However, I do not see it ever changing… such is the curse of BPD and manic-depression. For me, it is what it is. I am okay with it.

      Thank you for being there.

      Always, Me

  2. It is lovely as is. I am more concerned with this chaotic mind. Is it a regular cycle of shifting extreme moods or is it an impending move? I recall you relocating and reuniting with your significant other but I do not know of a specific date. I am so hoping that all goes well. One way or another I will be here anxious to communicate again.

    • Sir,
      It is cyclical, but with no pattern, if that makes any sense. Since I am bipolar manic-depressive and have borderline personality disorder as well (not just a label, I was diagnosed in 1997 after years of struggling with my behavior), my moods tend to be very up and very down. Most people have a difficult time dealing with my personality; and, as I age, I have a tendency to hide it much better than I used to when I was younger.

      I had a period of 4 years where I was on and off 27 different meds, finally settling on 7 “maintenance” drugs, but found I was more suicidal and incredibly overweight with bad acne; it was not a solution I was willing to live with. So, against the advice of my therapist, general practitioner, and psychiatrist, I took myself off of everything cold turkey. I didn’t think I would live through it… they were all surprised. I went through serious withdrawls, then I had a nervous breakdown.

      After a few years of trying many other very unhealthy addictions to replace serious deficits in my life, I found running to be a tremendous help. Any time I felt stressed, lonely, hurt, obsessive compulsive, or any of the other out of control emotions, I ran. It felt good.

      Unfortunately, I developed serious problems with my feet, and after 11 foot surgeries and 4 other non-related surgeries all in 3 years, I will never run again. As a result, I am having a challenging time dealing with my emotions. So, I suffer. I sit in the bedroom away from my family and feign migraines (of which I do suffer, but not from near as many as they believe). While I do have somewhat of a headache this weekend, it is not enough to where I would withdraw. But, the excuse is better than to be around them and allow them to see my true personality, because they don’t really know me and could not cope.

      I hope this was not too long of a response, or more than you wanted to know.

      Always,
      Me

  3. I want to know everything. No response is going to be too long. I very much want to understand and the more you tell me the more I understand. I do care and I do want to help and I need to know that no matter how perfectly a job I do there is no defeating certain conditions. When a little fondness comes through from you one time and not so much the next I remind myself that there is an ebb and flow of things happening within you that goes beyond our friendship. In some ways I do not want to see the well practiced mask and in other ways I don’t want to be hurt by unintended outbursts. There is never a perfect way to approach anything. Neither of us are perfect but I think we are managing quite nicely so far.

    I am saddened by your breakdown, and your inability to run. Still I thank you for the reasons behind both. I understand better now.

    I might suggest you pay attention to the foods you eat and how they affect you. Drugs and medicines are made from foodstuffs. There are things that trigger an anxiety attack in me that are purely dietary in nature. I don’t think altering your diet in a certain way is going to cure anything but if you can find a way to lessen your symptoms the way I have for myself, it is a true blessing indeed.

    I am allowing for you to someday lash out at me. It may never happen and I certainly don’t want it to. But I do have this huge book of free passes here at my desk brand new and completely unused. If the need ever arrises I will open it and start using them. So feel free to be as honest and open with me as you wish. And as long winded. I promise to drink it all in and not judge, although I will make suggestions or say I understand how someone could think something given the circumstances.

    I look forward to next time and the time after that. Meanwhile this unopened book gathers more and more dust, but it is on my desk to stay.

    • Sir,
      Your response literally brought tears to my eyes…

      First, I was formulating my response in my mind, about the food; but as I read further, I became less distracted by my own mind and thought of you allowing me to just be myself… without judgement, that happens so rarely in my life – even in therapy. I have been judged, always. Well, I suppose we all I; not for a minute do I believe I am unique.

      Back to the food… interesting you should say that, my uncle that had the brain tumor, he has suggested I do the same. He asked me my blood type, funny, with all of those surgeries, I have no idea. He read a book more than 20 years ago called “Eating for your Blood Type” and has been living by those principles. He believes it helped him to recover.

      I am willing to try anything… I am a firm believer in self-help; if I did not, I would have long ago killed myself.

      Thank you again.

      Always, Me

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